areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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