Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
