At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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