I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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