i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
