Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Randomize
