she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
