It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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