$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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