guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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