I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
