I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Is it penis luge time yet?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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