there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
