i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize