ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
