I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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