just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
