too bad you live with your parents still
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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