he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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