Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
