would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Randomize
