wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I believe in your delicious
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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