I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
