I have demons in me.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
