WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
