Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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