we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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