woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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