He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
