have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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