What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
