I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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