We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you didnt know i had herpes?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
