We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
