My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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