I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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