i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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