sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize