Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
