I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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