Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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