Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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