dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
We have started to decorate penises.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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