Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
