before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize