They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
