would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
