We won't sleep together?
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
