i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I've blown a few things in my day
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
