Too much gin, very little bucket
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
