I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
