yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
there was a trapeze. enough said
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
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