Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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