Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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