i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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