my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
