So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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