hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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