they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
