so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
