I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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