She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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