her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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