Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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