4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
