if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
