I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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