the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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