Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
