i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize